We would all love to have a smooth sailing life, me included, but a smooth sailing life does not cultivate identity, courage, love or strength. When things happen that hurt us we always ask the question why me. I realized that it is not the right question,  the question should be what type of person are you going to be when the storm comes your way. Having the strength to face the kind of adversity that crushes you to your soul and leaves you feeling paralyzed and numb, is in its self a strength.  

I recently came upon some amazing news that brought me so much joy, but is also one of the  biggest challenges that I am about to face, and every time I think of it, it makes me buckle at the knees. When I got this amazing news, I told my family and loved ones and of course they where happy for me. In fact one of the closest person to me cried and started praying thanking GOD for this amazing thing. It truly humbled me because not in a million years would I have ever thought that I could have such an achievement in life. I am truly humbled by this opportunity and while being in my own bubble of happiness and still trying to come to terms with this by pinching myself now and then to make sure it was not a dream, and thinking wow I had a big task that is ahead of me, I did not realize, that a storm was brewing in the horizon.

Difficulties strengthen the mind, as labor does the body.  ~ Seneca

As I  encountered my first person after people knew what happened, I noticed some people giving the cold shoulder, and feelings of extreme anger and resentment where being expressed. At first I thought my mind was playing tricks on me but after a while I starting hearing remarks that where very hurtful and discouraging. This honestly left me in a state of confusion, and the more I heard all this the more I was being robbed of my joy. I struggled to come to terms with the fact that people had so much anger towards to me and some of them where already saying I will fail and it wont last. As the shock and bewilderment began to fade away, and of course the positive vibes of the people who where genuinely happy for me began to take root. My beloved reminded me of who I was and where I was coming from. I took hold of my own personal core values, and realized that I am  living and acting on the basis of an informed conscience. Meaning that I have developed a philosophy of living and a moral framework and principles for behaving . These values and principles serve  to me as roots that give me nourishment when the storms are threatening to consume me.

Realizing the high standards of learning to be a better person, that I had set up for myself,  I needed time to absorb the adversity that was presented to me. I realized that in this new environment I needed to learn how to do my work and navigate myself through the shock, fear, sadness and all the things that will be thrown my way. A storm is coming but I will weather It like a professional.

Adversity is like a strong wind. It tears away from us all but the things that cannot be torn, so that we see ourselves as we really are.
~Arthur Golden, Memoirs of a Geisha

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xoxo

Sandra