I am a big advocate for self discovery, and allowing yourself to change for the better. What I have discovered is that having the idea to change and deciding to change is actually the easy part. The hardest part is  maintaining that change and trying hard to not go back to being the person you where before. The person that was unhappy, unfulfilled, unbalanced and at cross roads.

Here Is my story, after I had decided to change, bought books that encouraged,positive change, healing of your mind ect ect, I was on a roll so happy about the new me, feeling very confident and feeling that  had finally planted my feet on the ground. And I was just loving it. Then something happened with some colleagues of mine, and I found myself thrust in the middle of that mayhem. At first I did not recognize the impact the little fiasco had on me, but as I was driving going home I began to question myself as to why I felt like the old me again especially around those colleagues. I felt as if I was Influenced by the thoughts of someone else even though I knew that was not me anymore. Discovering this was kind of devastating for me as I felt I had made so much progress, it almost felt so easy to just go back and become what I was fighting so hard to not be, and somehow that old me had managed to sneak into my mind and tried to twist things around with out me even noticing.

 

I had to sit down and examine how this happened, as I pulled a few things apart I realized that In trying to give someone a chance and get to know them, I had opened myself to also receiving there energy. In my mind I am thinking I am strong and above the negative influence of others because I had been working on myself everyday, trying to improve my personality. I even felt I was in a better position to be a positive influence to them.  I did not expect how easy it was for me to lose my footing and get sucked up into that negative energy being emitted by those individuals, until I was almost knee deep and felt like something was definitely wrong . I quickly discarded the negative influences around me and tried to persuade myself into moving forward again. Even though this was discouraging, the thing that lifted me up was the knowledge that I picked it up before I completely lost myself and had strength to move away, something I could have never done before.

It Is not easy to be the best you want to be, you have to learn to recognize the things that make you fall, that discourage you and make you lose hope and discard them without hesitation, especially people. Build yourself up with people who will help you keep positive vibes, who will help dig up that person you want to be and encourage you to maintain it.

The lesson most learned is do some thing because it gives you joy and never put ego into it

xoxo

sandra