Self acceptance is a topic that many cringe at and of course will not venture into. I know I talk about losing weight, beauty and fashion but before I could even start writing this blog I had to find myself and I struggled a lot with finding who I was and what I was comfortable with. I would like to share a bit about my journey to self acceptance
I grew up a very shy person, always hiding myself in the back ground, not sure why but I guess to hide my insecurities. Its not because I could not achieve things or be open, but I found it hard to relate to a lot of things and thought if I am not noticed then I can not fail, and no one can see my short comings. If someone happened to notice that I was around, its almost as if I felt sorry to be seen, to be recognized and would try to sink back into the back ground again as quickly as possible. I was always told how to dress, how to react, how to speak and could never be myself. I didn’t have any friends at all. I remember being the odd girl in the neighbour eager to make friends but too afraid to show who I was and just tried to pretend to be like them, but really I was not.
Self discovery can be a painful journey, because you have to make it alone. You have to accept who you are in order for people to accept you, and once you know who you are its so easy to know those people who are toxic around you, and remove them. Its easy to reinvent yourself and discover your passions and your interest and seek them out.
When I finally discovered who I was, it felt like being dressed in so many outfits at once that did not fit at all, and had to remove each layer and throw it away. I discovered what I loved about myself, and that was everything about the new person I had unwrapped , This person wanted to live life to the fullest, create a serene place where no one could ever destroy. It was such an amazing feeling, and I did it without thinking about all the rules society forces on you, with out worrying about gender, color or background. I realized I absolutely loved this new person because I felt free and actually happy. Without this new person I would have never been able to start this blog, which is something I enjoy doing.
I found my love for fashion quiet by accident and when I did I remember looking to see what others where wearing then I would quickly run and buy that. But when I tried to wear it I felt horrible like its not me, and felt very uncomfortable and at the end felt embarrassed for even putting it on. I decided not to give up because fashion, and style has become a part of the new me that I love.
Its not easy being happy if you don’t know yourself, you have to be your number one fan and recognize your worth as a person. Don’t wait until someone else tells your worth. Know your worth, and don’t expect any less.
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